We Maye Have a Problem
It’s May in New England, the Bruins are dead, the Celtics broke our hearts, the Red Sox remind us why we drink, and the Patriots are back in the news thanks to our future hall of fame quarterback, Drake Maye, who decided to open his first OTA practice by throwing four goddamn interceptions. In shorts.
Now I know the blue-blood diehards out there are already screaming, “It’s just OTAs! He’s learning! Let him cook!” Well, he cooked alright — served up a goddamn turnover buffet like he was the manager at a Golden Corral. keeping up with Dr. Big Mac’s breakfast. Four picks at a practice where nobody’s wearing pads and half the defense is made up of guys who’ll be bagging groceries by September.
If that’s how he reads a vanilla defense, I can’t wait to see him staring down a pissed-off Max Crosby in week 1 while he shits his pant and hucks another floater like he’s playin’ backyard toss with his meemaw.
Remember the End of Last Season? 'Cause I Do. Let’s not act like this is brand new behavior either. If you watched every game last season — and God help you if you did — you know Maye’s ability to close out games was less than a mixed bag. One ridiculous scramble on a 2 point conversion to send it to OT. In which he threw one of his two game losing INT’s on the season. Remember?
Big-time QBs show up in big moments. Drake? Drake curled into a metaphorical ball, screamed “YOLO,” and chucked the damn thing into the void. That ain’t clutch, that’s what we in the biz call “bust”.
Can He Be Good? Technically, Sure. Will He Be? Nobody knows. Listen, I don’t hate the kid. He’s got a cannon, he’s mobile, and he looks like the type of guy who’d shotgun a Busch Light and try to win a bar fight with a lacrosse stick. He could be great. He might be good. But can we all please stop pretending he’s the second coming of Brady when he’s out here throwing ducks.
We’ve been through this rodeo before. Remember Mac? “He’s got a high football IQ!” “He’s a leader!” Yeah, he’s also currently working as a backup and re-learning how to throw a spiral. Remember Stidham? “Oh he’s got potential!” He had potential alright — potential to be average in Denver.
Let’s pump the brakes before we rename Route 1 “Drake Maye Parkway,” alright?
Now I’ll give the kid this — it’s early. He’s got time. Things will or should improve with the new coaching staff, but not with out a learning curve for both the new offense and just as a 2nd year starter. Maybe it’s just nerves, maybe he needs to stop thinking and start slingin’. But the NFL doesn’t give a shit about your feelings or your learning curve. And if he keeps throwing picks like that, the only Maye we’ll be talking about come Week 6 is “It Maye have been smart to keep Bazooka Joe.”
We Maye have a problem, folks.
And I’m not talking about the quarterback room. I’m talking about the delusional expectations of this fanbase that thinks every first-round QB is just one eyebrow away from being the next GOAT.
Open your eyes. Read a stat sheet. And for the love of God, stop tweeting “Drake SZN” until the kid survives a live pass rush without running directly into three linebackers looking to take his head off.