The Red Sox Big 3 Won’t Save This Mess (But Please, Keep Pretending They Might)

The Red Sox think the Big 3 are the answer, when they’re just another symptom of the same disease. Oh, and weren’t the “Big 3” Anthony, Mayer, and Teel? Not Campbell. Hmf, funny how that works.

Roman Anthony got the call.
Game 1: 0-for-4, game-losing error.
Game 2: 1-for-4, 2 RBI, game-winner. A rollercoaster? More like a kiddie ride.

Game 3: Complete nothing burger

Sure, the Sox have won 5 of 7. Mayer went yard twice in last night’s game. Giolito even pulled a rabbit out of his... whatever for six shutout innings. They took 2 of 3 from the Yankees, and everyone’s pretending it’s a turning point. It’s not.

Same shit, different prospects.

They’ve given up at least 7 runs in 6 of their last 8 games. Somehow, they won two of them: 10–7 and 11–7 clown shows in New York.

Starting Pitcher ERAs (for your nightmares):

  • Garrett Crochet (White Sox): 2.35

  • Bello: 3.96

  • Dobbins (“I’d retire before playing for the Yankees”): 4.20

  • Buehler: 5.18

  • Houck: 8.04 (Yes, eight.)

  • Giolito: 5.45

That’s good for 25th-best rotation in MLB. Overall ERA? 22nd. But hey, Aroldis Chapman has a 1.65 ERA, so there’s that.

But Wait! Here Comes “The Big 3” to Fix Everything

Kristian Campbell
.229 AVG | .675 OPS | .355 SLG | 5 errors (tied for 2nd most in MLB, behind someone named Lenyn Sosa, who sucks harder)

Marcelo Mayer
.225 AVG | .670 OPS | 40 ABs | Already being pinch-hit for like a Little Leaguer in playoffs.

Roman Anthony
Hasn’t faced a lefty yet in the majors because Alex Cora’s afraid they’ll melt like wax figures in July.

Cora’s Philosophy: Baby the Kids Until the Fire’s Out (Hint: It’s Still Raging)

Cora refuses to let rookies hit against lefties. Not new — he did it with Devers, Duran, Casas, and Abreu. But at some point, these guys need to actually play baseball, right?

Anthony hit .361 with a .955 OPS vs. lefties in Triple-A. Mayer wasn’t awful either. Doesn’t matter.

Cora says Triple-A isn’t the same: “The gap is big. It’s very big.”
Cool. So is the gap in this team’s logic.

Twice this week, Mayer was pinch-hit for in big spots — and sure, Romy Gonzalez came through, but are we building the future or surviving the week?

Anthony? Pinch-hit for in the 11th of his MLB debut. Welcome to the big leagues, kid. Here’s a seat on the bench.

The Real Problem

The Red Sox are trying to plug gaping roster holes with hope and highlight reels from Worcester. The Big 3 aren’t the problem — relying on them to fix everything is.

It’s not development. It’s delusion.

But hey, enjoy the hype while the rotation bleeds runs, the bullpen juggles gasoline, and the manager refuses to let his shiny new toys face a southpaw.

Let me know if you want this formatted for social media, Substack, or read aloud on a podcast.


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