Yeah, this doesn’t look like a future diva problem in New England.
Let’s start with the obvious: Stefon Diggs pulled up to the Met Gala looking like an inverted Cruella de Ville who just took over the coat closet at a haunted opera house. Somewhere between Willy Wonka villain and luxury bath mat, Steph’s outfit screamed less “team-first grinder” and more “I only eat peeled grapes and wear sunglasses indoors.”
And before some stats-obsessed fantasy manager jumps in to say “He’s elite, bro!”—no one’s denying Diggs’ talent. The man can route-run with the best of ‘em. But you know what else he can run? A team’s patience.
In an era where wide receiver egos have been relatively tamed (pour one out for the T.O. and Ochocinco days), Diggs remains a torchbearer of the old ways—flamboyant entrances, cryptic Instagram posts, sideline eye-rolls, and now… fur-lined Met Gala mystique. Because nothing says “I’m locked in for OTA’s” like dressing for the Hunger Games Capitol.
And now he’s headed to Foxborough—land of the cold weather, colder press conferences, and the coldest offensive schemes known to man.
Let’s talk fit. This man is going from Josh Allen and CJ Stroud to basically a red shirt rookie QB still learning where the bathrooms are at Gillette. His new offensive line is held together with duct tape and hope. His WR room includes exactly zero WR1s, half a slot guy, and a special teams gunner who thinks he's “next up.” The offensive game plan? Run, screen, pray.
But sure, let’s act like the guy draped in a chinchilla cape is gonna morph into the picture of Patriot discipline. Let’s pretend when he’s got three catches for 27 yards and New England is down 13-3 in the third quarter, he won’t be side-eyeing everybody like a high school kid stuck in a group project with C students.
This isn’t to say he won’t produce—if healthy, Diggs can still cook. But he’s also coming off the wrong side of 30, a down year, and what suspiciously felt like a slow-burn breakup with Buffalo and quick dismissal in Houston. And no matter how many “Footie Pajama Pats” fans convince themselves otherwise, ACL history is real and load management ain’t in the Patriot lexicon.
So yeah. Let’s go ahead and pencil it in now: Week 9 postgame presser after a loss to the Jets, Diggs in full Balenciaga rain poncho, talking about “execution” and “just doing my job,” while looking like he’s already mentally traded himself to Miami.
Can’t wait.