Baseball sucks; reason 10,043
Finally. We have the counter nerds speaking up! A generation for baseball players have been and continue to be victims of losers who got picked last in gym. The analytics in sports are ruining the game and they have nearly finished the job with baseball. Check out this spoon Craig Breslow.
That shit is like out a movie. Some hot shot with a cell phone and laptop walk into the building and impress a very impressionable owner. Next move is to fire the old guard to create a power vacuum filled with world of war craft forum strategy. News flash dummies, it’s not even really working. And thank god the opposition has seen enough to start speaking up.
God bless jock meatheads. They have been silenced for too long. I don’t want to hear about the square root exit velocity of a marginalized spin rate you dork. See the ball, hit the ball. This is a simple game. Make Baseball Fun Again. And stop blowing these kids arms out you fucktards. Rule #1 we learned as kids. Don’t throw the curve ball until high school at least. Rule #2 pitch don’t throw. Not only is teaching kids to throw with velocity and torque just dumb for all of the reason opposition nerd gave us at the top of this blog, it’s also boring as hell to watch.
I hope baseball stops listening to the old head fans and pussy players to make whatever rule changes necessary to bring the baseball back to baseball.
P.S. Here’s a story for some icing on top. Reason number 10, 044 baseball sucks.
Tatis Jr. signed a deal to fork over 10% of career salary to this investment firm for $2 million straight up when he was a teenager. Now Tatis Jr. doesn’t want to pay? Classic bitchy baseball player move. Always woe is me. You signed the deal, dude. Is it gross and weird the human hedge funds can treat athletes like literal assets? Yep. But, it’s the world we live in and they sign up for it. Sure, there are predatory motives. It’s also 2 million fucking dollars in your pocket. Also, Tatis Jr. had a father who was a long time professional baseball player, so that predatory excuse runs a little flat here for me.
Bottom line, you signed for $340 million fucking dollars, now they want their 10% you agreed upon. Time to pay up, chief. Just stop bitching baseball players. Stop bitching.