Joe Mazzula destroyed the Celtics

May 20

In this hard-hitting and bare-knuckle episode of the Simple Minds Sports Show, the boys are fired up about the crumbling Celtics and the implosion of “Mazzula Ball.” With Boston down 3-2 to the Knicks and Tatum possibly done for a year with a torn Achilles, the crew dives headfirst into the flames of blame, future strategy, and the giant payroll mess coming in 2025.

Dr. Big Mac kicks things off with another round of "Headlines with the Obvious One" — where bodily functions and bad basketball collide in glorious fashion. From Brunson fouling out to Derek White’s 34-point explosion, from Greg Greeson comparisons to tax apron chaos, this episode pulls zero punches.

If you’re a Celtics fan with heart issues or a soft stomach… maybe skip this one. If you like screaming into the void and laughing through the pain, then this is the pod for you.

📝 Show Notes:

🏀 Celtics Meltdown

Joe Mazzula’s strategy has imploded: 49 threes in Game 5 ain't the flex you think it is.
Celtics win Game 5 127–102 without Tatum — SIX players in double digits.
Jaylen Brown: 26 pts / 12 reb / 8 ast
Derek White: 34 pts
Luke Kornet: 10 pts / 9 reb / 7 blks
Celtics dominated rebounds, assists, points in the paint, and TOs… and still looked shaky.
Free throw shooting? Atrocious. 65%.
Knicks cast is weak if you play actual defense — Brunson fouled out mid-4th.
Porzingis needs a new role: Greg Greeson 2.0 or bust.

⚰️ Mazzula Ball: RIP (Hopefully)

Celtics blew another double-digit 3rd quarter lead in Game 3.
Tripled down on threes — and tripled their way right into the L column.
Time for Brad Stevens to step in and shift the franchise’s identity.

🩼 Tatum's Injury Fallout

Tatum ruptured Achilles — possibly out until April 2026.
Has played more basketball than nearly any peer since 2017.
Tatum: ~699 games / 24,351 mins
Luka: ~506 games / 17,680 mins
Booker, Mitchell, Brown? All less.
Celtics Payroll 2025-2026: $227M+
Way over second tax apron ($207.8M). Current projection = $280M bill.

💰 The Future: Three Paths

Burn It Down — Trade Porzingis, Jrue, Hauser → Save $70M+ → Lottery and rebuild.
Cheap Retool — Stay under first apron, shed extra weight, develop kids.
Aggressive Reload — Trade, retool, and be ready for Tatum’s return.

🔁 Player Role Swaps

Pritchard → Holiday role
Scheierman → Hauser role
JD Davidson → Pritchard role
Horford & Kornet stay for frontcourt depth

Brown and White carry the torch… until the Face of the Franchise returns.

🔥 Segments Breakdown:

Intro & Celtics Fallout – 0:00
Headlines with the Obvious One – 22:00
Tatum Injury Deep Dive – 31:45
Celtics Cap Crisis & Future Options – 41:10
Closing Thoughts (and Insults) – 58:00

Listen to this full episode on:

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Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-simple-minds-sports-show/id1518138259

Listen on Spotify Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/4JOz2aBEi3yQt2QEjbSqGV?si=e75a42c1a56c41f2

Rich McPhee