Day on a Boat or Night on Coke?

It’s hotter than a pair of jorts in July, and the boys are here to break summer wide open with a This or That: Summer Edition that gets weird real quick (looking at you, “boat day or cocaine night”). Chief Bobby puts the heat on, and Rich barely holds it together.

Then it’s time for Simplest Minds of the Week, featuring a US sprinter who let it all hang out—literally. There’s talk of Ric Flair, open-plan bathrooms, repentance, and 10 scorching-hot takes from a guy named Rob that make us all dumber and angrier… which means they’re perfect.

Plus:

• NBA Draft: Too many white guys?

• Tom Brady’s bionic Fanatics win

• Drake Maye’s wedding

• Devers traded, Sox crumbling, and Cora jumping ship

• Bruins Draft targets and trade rumors

• NHL Draft breakdown: Hagens, Martin, O’Brien, and McQueen

Grab your lemonade, avoid the golf course, and let’s dive into summer stupidity with the Simple Minds crew.

• Running through the sprinkler 💦 or kiddie pool lounging 🛁

• Fresh watermelon 🍉 or fresh strawberries 🍓

• Water balloons 💣 or squirt guns 🔫

• A day on the boat 🚤 or a night high on coke 💃 (We don’t condone it, we just ask)

• Iced tea 🧊 or lemonade 🍋

• Summer fling 💋 or summer adventure 🏕️

• Backyard cookout 🍔 or park grillin’ 🌭

• Golfing ⛳️ or being a sane human

• Fudgsicles 🍫 or popsicles 🍭

• Family camping trip 🏕️ or family road trip 🚗

• US Sprinter lets it swing — Chris Robinson wins race and becomes the "cock of the walk"

  • 🎥 PLAY CLIP – US SPRINTER COCK OUT

• Ric Flair makes a cameo in our brains

  • 📸 PLAY PIC – Ric Flair

• Open plan bathroom horror

  • 🎥 PLAY CLIP – Open Plan Shitter

• Spiritual panic

  • 🎥 PLAY CLIP – Repent

1. 9 white guys in the NBA Draft… worst draft ever?

2. Thunder: Real contenders or just windy?

3. Drake Maye’s young marriage — smart or stupid?

4. Is Tom Brady even human anymore?

5. Would the Pacers have survived with Haliburton’s Achilles intact?

6. What horrors lie in Pablo Torre’s 61-page NFL exposé?

7. Lakers valued at $10B? Timberwolves sold for $1.5B? Wut.

8. 84-game NHL schedule? For what?

9. Will Niang and Simmons make the Celtics' cut?

10. Red Sox slump: Was it fun while it lasted?

⚠️ Official Statement: We will NOT talk about the Red Sox.
But here's the tea:

• 40-42, lost 5 straight

• .103 batting average since the Devers trade

• Alex Cora ejecting himself from this disaster

• Garrett Crochet = Filthy

• Bueller? More like Yeller.

• It’s a center-heavy draft—perfect for Boston’s needs

• Bruins and Flyers both eying Martin, O'Brien, Hagens

• Word on the street: Bruins looking to trade up

• 🔁 PLAY CLIP – Sweeney whispers sweet nothings

James Hagens (Boston College)

• Position: C | Height: 5'10.5" | Weight: 186 lbs | Hometown: Long Island, NY

• Smart pick, smooth skater, ideal cornerstone piece

Brady Martin (Soo, Canada)

• Position: C | Height: 6'0" | Weight: 186 lbs

• Flyers’ favorite, but could slide to Bruins

Jake O’Brien (Brantford, Canada)

• Position: C | Height: 6'1.75" | Weight: 172 lbs

• Versatile, strong two-way play

Roger McQueen (Brandon, Canada)

• Position: C | Height: 6'5.25" | Weight: 198 lbs

• Big body, high risk, high reward

• Known back issue, but Ducks are sniffing around

📰 Source: The Athletic 2025 NHL Mock Draft

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