Ten White Guys, A Draft, and No Red Sox Talk
Dr. Big Mac, Rich, and Chief Bobby strap in for another ride through the sports meat grinder. First up: 10 Questions from a Guy Named Rob — because nothing says hard-hitting journalism like some dude named Rob spitting fire. From Tom Brady’s cyborg rise to NBA Draft whiteness, to why the Red Sox are dead to us (again), the crew dives into it all with their signature blend of rage, sarcasm, and moderate research.
Then it’s on to Bruins Draft Talk, where Rich breaks down teenage Canadian centers like he's got stock in their future dental bills. Boston might be on the move up the draft board, and guess what? It’s finally a good year to need a center. Which of Hagens, O'Brien, or Martin will end up with a spoked B on their chest — and will Sweeney screw it up? Probably. But we can dream.
Too Pale to Succeed? – NBA Draft hits a record for white dudes. Are we officially in the dark ages?
Thunderstruck or Thunderflop? – Can OKC actually make a run, or just another playoff participation trophy?
Drake Maye Wifed Up – Is getting married young brave or brain-dead?
Tom Brady Wins the Fanatics Games – We ask again: Is he a damn robot?
Pacers Pain – Would they have had a chance if Haliburton’s Achilles didn’t tap out?
NFL’s 61-Page Horror Story – What in the Roger Goodell is Pablo Torre teasing?
Lakers Worth $10 Billion?? – Wolves sold for $1.5B. Lakers nearly $10B. Are we all just stupid?
NHL’s 84-Game Mistake – Because sure, let’s play 4 more meaningless hockey games.
Opening Night Celts – Niang? Simmons? Who actually makes the cut?
Red Sox Death Watch – Losers of 5 straight. Batting .103. Don’t ask, we’re not talking about them. No really. Don’t.
The Bruins are hunting for a center like it’s a Black Friday sale.
Top Targets:
James Hagens (Boston College, 5’10.5”, 186 lbs) – Local kid, elite playmaker, would look real nice in Black & Gold.
Brady Martin (Soo, 6’0”, 186 lbs) – Flyers love him. Bruins love him. Will he make it to 7?
Jake O'Brien (Brantford, 6’1.75”, 172 lbs) – The mystery man everyone thinks will go 4, 6, or 7.
Roger McQueen (Brandon, 6’5.25”, 198 lbs) – Massive risk. Massive upside. Massive Canadian.
Rumors & Moves: Bruins sniffing around a trade-up. Flyers and B’s may want the same three players. Who blinks first?
Sweeney Clip™ – Because it’s not a Bruins draft without a slightly robotic press conference from Donny.
Red Sox? Nah.
Alex Cora might eject himself permanently.
Crochet made the Sox look like a JV team.
Bueller should be Yellered.
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