Totem Poles, Tatum Fire, and Belichick’s Breakdown
The fellas are back and hotter than a $2 pistol! On this episode of the Simple Minds Sports Show, Chief Bobby takes us Up and Down the Totem Pole, giving props to the Cavs' historic beatdown and roasting the Browns’ draft-day dumpster fire. From Abdul Carter's jersey drama to the Rockies playing like a high school JV team, ain't nobody safe!
Then, it’s Celtics time. The Green send the Magic straight back to Disney World with a beatdown for the ages. Tatum channels his inner Bird, Brown still looks iffy, and Coach Mazzula finally stops chuckin' threes like it's a YMCA open gym. We break down the stats, the vibes, and the soft whining of Jamahl Mosely.
To wrap it up, the boys take a trip around the NBA playoffs: Giannis chokes again, the Knicks are sad, Warriors hang on by a thread, and Belichick… Lord help him, someone get that man a conservatorship.
📋 Show Notes:
⬆️⬇️ Up and Down the Totem Pole with Chief Bobby
⬆️ Cavs – 4-0 sweep of the Heat, 122-point series margin record. Yowza.
⬇️ Browns – Classic Browns. Passed on elite talent, drafted Dillon Gabriel and Shedeur Sanders late. Woof times two.
⬇️ Abdul Carter – Rookie arrogance at full blast. Wants a retired NFL legend’s number. Chief says: “This guy’s an asshole.”
⬇️ Rockies – 4 total wins. Could lose to a damn Pop Warner team.
⬆️ Juvenile Behavior – Prank draft calls? Now that’s the spirit.
⬇️ Bill Belichick – It’s gone from awkward to downright sad. Elder abuse incoming.
🏀 Celtics Send the Magic Home
Final: Celtics 120 – Magic 89
Series win: Celtics 4-1
Tatum: 35 pts / 8 reb / 10 ast
Third straight 30-point playoff game — Only Larry Legend has done that.
Brown: 23 pts / 6 reb / 3 ast – Something’s off...
Magic:
Banchero: 19-9-6 but fouled out early.
Wagner: 25-4-4 – But not enough.
Key Takeaways:
Magic = Hacks. Jamahl Mosely won the whine contest.
Tatum's awake – Can he stay that way?
Mazzula finally adjusted:
Only 24 3PTAs in Game 5.
Celtics dominated the paint and hit 21/24 FTs.
Tatum: 3 straight games perfect from the line.
Problem with the refs? Eh, maybe. But Magic were outclassed.
🏀 NBA Playoffs Roundup
Bucks Collapse – Blow 10-point lead, Haliburton dagger.
Giannis: “Simple Minds” material confirmed.
Knicks Implode – Sad trombone.
Warriors Still Kickin’ – Old but stubborn.
Heat Embarrassed – Cavs ended them fast.
Lakers Eliminated – JJ hates subs, Lakers hate winning.
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