We Are So Back, Kid!

Written By Rich McPhee

The boys are back and bloated with opinions in this week’s Simple Minds Sports Show. We’re diving headfirst into the New England Patriots OTAs, where Dr. Big Mac thinks everyone’s soft, Rich is already handing Drake Maye the MVP, and Chief Bobby just wants someone—anyone—to figure out who’s playing left guard.

In this episode:

  • 🔍 Patriots OTA Breakdown: Aaron vs. Rich—two men enter, one leaves satisfied with the RB room.

  • 🧠 Drake Maye Reality Check: Can he learn McDaniels’ system before the internet learns how to pronounce “perpetuance”?

  • 🚑 O-Line Panic Button: Is Moses Malone still playing RT, and did someone kidnap the center depth chart?

  • 📡 WR Room Mystery: The crew sorts through a depth chart that looks like a Dollar Tree shopping list.

  • 🛥️ Stefon Diggs Update: Looks good in shorts, failed physical, possibly slinging pills on a boat? Totally normal.

  • 💍 Belichick’s Engagement: Shock and awe… or just awe that someone said yes.

  • 📈 Top 5 Breakout Pats Players (Non-Drake Edition): Heated roundtable. Bold picks. Likely wrong.

PLUS…

🗞️ HEADLINES WITH THE OBVIOUS ONE
He's back with that signature self-loathing and barely-intelligible sports takes:

  • Patriots OTA optimism is as shaky as his digestive system.

  • Red Sox are the definition of bipolar baseball.

  • Bruins hire Marco Sturm, the most German-sounding name since "Sauerkraut Uber Alles."

  • NBA Finals? Thunder vs. Pacers. Viewer interest is lower than The Obvious One's cholesterol levels are high.

0:00 – Intro / Dr. Big Mac forgets how mics work
2:14 – Patriots OTAs: Aaron vs. Rich Throwdown
10:58 – Drake Maye: Is He HIM… or Just Hype?
20:42 – Running Game Deep Dive: Better Line or Better Lies?
28:30 – WR Room Breakdown: Who Stays, Who Goes, Who Sells Herbalife?
35:15 – O-Line Panic: Left Guard Roulette & Moses Malone’s Ghost
42:00 – Coordinator Update: Terrell Williams Watch
44:50 – Roster Rumors and Camp Buzz
48:12 – Belichick Engaged?! Someone Check Her ID
50:00 – Top 5 Breakout Patriots (No Maye, No Gonzo)
1:01:45 – HEADLINES WITH THE OBVIOUS ONE
1:10:00 – Wrap-up & Chief Bobby Cracks a Beer

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🧠 Simple takes from simple minds... because sports are hard and thinking is harder.

Rich McPhee
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